Nub-ectomy

Most people don't know this but Hayden was born with a little nub on her right hand next to her pinky. I found it to be too cute. I would kiss it gently. But, since she was born, all the doctors that saw her would say, "It needs to be removed". It made me sad that each doctor would say this because to me she is perfect, nub and all. It didn't seem to bother her so I felt we didn't need to remove it. But, I set up the appointment anyway back in February. I started to think of a future Hayden. I saw her in school and that one mean kid, because afterall there always is one, who will tease her endlessly about her nub. If I could avoid that kind of pain, I will.

When the doctors originally told us about the removal, they mentioned that it would be tied off. I thought it was odd but OK she won't be in any pain. When I called to make the appointment, I asked them what the procedure was for the removal. They told me that they would put on some numbing cream first. After twenty minutes, they would give her a shot of Lidocaine in that area. Finally, they would go in and cut it out and stitch her up. What?! What happened to just tying it off? I didn't like the sound of that.

When we took Hayden in for her two month check up, her new pediatrician said to make sure that it is cut off as to not leave a smaller nub. At that point, I knew that the cutting of the nub was going to be the procedure and mentioned it. He was satified to hear this.

So, the procedure was scheduled for today. I put on my brave face but inside I was a nervous wreck. A parent NEVER wants to see their child in pain. I was still on the "do we really need to do this/the doctors have said it needs to be removed/is this just for vanity reasons" debate with myself.

The nurse came in to ask us a few questions. And although Hayden had on her pink lined, Daddy's girl bib on, the nurse still referred to Hayden as "him". Her little blue outfit threw it off. I guess I need to buy a blue ribbon for her hair. LOL.

We met with the doctor and she mentioned that for now it may not affect her. As she grew up, she would run into some issues. As people, like to stick our hands in our pockets and that would be where she may run into some issues because she may rub it or get it hooked on a pocket more likely than not. She also mentioned that as she grew so would the nub. That made me feel like this was the right thing to do for her.

She is a very cheerful little girl. Her smiles made the moment light. The nurse came in and she put the numbing cream on. They wrapped it up so she wouldn't shove her hand in her mouth.


And then we just sat there. She did extremely well as 20 minutes is a long time to keep an almost three month old happy. She was a brave little girl when they gave her the lidocaine. No tears. She then fell asleep which I thought was perfect. They would do the procedure as she slept and she would be none the wiser of the whole thing. Not that she will ever remember this when she got older.

They moved us to the room where the procedure would be done. Of course she then woke up and was wide awake. The nurse swaddled her which she never really liked. As soon as she learned to bust out, it was over. But, she didn't really cry the whole time. The doctor did her thing and Hayden just watched. The doctor was very impressed with her. The doctor said we may have a surgeon on our hands since she just laid there and watched. That is just fine with us. We are so proud of our little girl.

Now the nub is gone. I'm a little sad.

First Easter

This is an important and exciting day; more for mommy than you. It was your first Easter. For weeks, the anticipation has been mounting. I wanted to make it perfect for you. I know. I know. You won't remember it. But, I am your mommy and it had to be perfect.

Mommy was excited to put you in a perfect dress. But, the temperature around here is never stable or nice around Easter. Mommy remembers a year when hail came down. Your grandpa was grilling at your great grandparent's house when all of a sudden ice came down. A day mommy hasn't forgotten. Yesterday's temperature was OK for this time of year. It was about 60 degrees. A couple of weeks ago it was in the 80's. In a perfect world we would have nice weather for you to do an Easter egg hunt. Maybe one day we can do that.

It was nice enough for you to wear a dress though. Yay! Your outfit was a collaboration of gifts. The dress and sweater shrug were gifts from Auntie Sami. The bow, which I must say I really loved, was a gift from Auntie Kathy. And, the final touch was your bib that came from grandma.

The other major challenge was your first Easter basket. I had to make sure the Easter Bunny didn't fill it with candy since you are on a strict liquid diet. That morning this adorable basket showed up filled with some toys for you to play with once you can.

We spent the day at grandma's. The long day out was something we hadn't done yet. You did really well. You did get tired though. Unfortunately, Uncle Tony got the brunt of that. He came up to your chair from behind and over you. You started to cry like someone pinched you. The heartbreak was all over his face. I felt really bad for him. It was time for your nap and Auntie Tammy was more than happy to rock you to sleep. You were out in no time.

When we got home, you were exhausted. I put you in your pajamas. They were your Easter pj's. The bunnies on the feet with the floppy ears kept you entertained.

All in all, your first Easter was a good one. If Lukas were here, it would have been perfect. Love you.

Outfit knitted by Grandma

Birth Story

Let's go back to the beginning when I found out I was pregnant.

I had been praying for weeks that God find it in his heart to bless us once again with another child to love. And those two minutes waiting for that positive was an eternity. I sat there praying my mantra that I am sure any woman who wants to see that positive say, "Please God, please God. Let this be the one. If is is going to happen let it be now." And there it was.

I was over the moon. God had heard my prayers; my many months of prayers. But, I wanted to tell Papa in a special way. I didn't want it to be ordinary. I just didn't know where to start. So, I went to the bookstore and bought a book named Daddy Kisses. I bought a Father's Day card from Lukas and gave him the news that day. I would like to say I had surprised him but he had suspected something. It never fails. I can never surprise him.

The news was out. And soon so was my belly. The months began to go by and I just became bigger and bigger. Watching you grow made my heart grow with you.

July 2010

September 2011October 2010

November 2010

January 2011

January rolled around and you were giving me signs that you were well on your way. Contractions began and I was counting the minutes in between contractions. Some of the contractions were strong enough to make me believe that you would have been a January baby too. But you held on.

In January, I was told that I tested positive for the Group Strep B bacteria. The doctor asked me if I had previously tested positive. I hadn't. She told me that it was not a problem. It happens in some women. It just meant that I would have to be induced the week before my due date if you didn't decide to come sooner. So, we set the date for February 7, 2011.

In Chicago, the weather is unpredictable which is an understatement. It can be 100 degrees one day and freezing the next. Of course, this year we had Blizzard 2011 five days before my induction. That day I woke up to some contractions and some blood. My doctor told me to relax and stay put unless bleeding or contractions got worse. Fortunately, everything calmed down and once again you held off. I was so relieved because it really made me nervous to think that we would have to travel in that bad weather when no one was out there. It was really sweet to have everyone call and check on me. Funny now how there was a possibility that we could have had you at home. I can only imagine the chaos that could have ensued had that happened.

The snow kept coming down and we couldn't go anywhere. Roads were a mess. Cautious warnings on the television and radio were broadcast. Most businesses were closed.

At home, snow was blocking our garage door by the time the storm was over. Papa shoveled his little heart out.

He cleared our driveway for the just in case. Everyone told me to call an ambulance to avoid travel problems.

But, the weekend passed. Most of the snow was pushed out of the way. And Monday morning at 5:45AM we arrived at the hospital. Both excited and nervous, we took our steps into the hospital. The time was getting closer to the moment when we would meet our little rainbow.

Once we were settled in the doctor came in to check on us. She finally met Papa. She was very excited and ready to deliver the you. She ordered the epidural. Yes, it is a must in my book. I have felt the beginnings of labor and I am not a fan of it one bit.

The day was spent updating everyone via Facebook and text.

I tried to get some sleep knowing that the next weeks would probably be sleepless. But, Mr. Sandman did not come visit. I was up most of the day. I almost fell asleep once but I was awakened by my mom calling to check on me. My sister came to stay with us. Later in the day, my mom stopped by before going to work.

At around 2PM, my mom noticed the faces I was making. And asked me if I was OK. I told her that I felt prickly but I had the "magic" button. I was to just push the button and the medicine would make the pain go away. The button had not seemed to work. She told me to let the nurse know but I braved it in hopes the magic would kick in soon. But she noticed that my face was changing faster. I, at that point, noted that the time between the uncomfortable prickly feeling was 5 minutes apart and getting increasingly stronger. Not having to tell me again, I called the nurse. My mom left and wished me luck and told me to call her once Hayden had arrived.

The nurse came in and I let her know how I was feeling. She then needed to check my dilation. My sister and Papa left the room. After she was done checking, the nurse said that it was a go for delivery. She checked the epidural machine and said that it had run out. She was going to have to call the doctor to see if I could get anything before the delivery. The tears came rolling down my face in fear that this delivery was going to be very painful and the contractions were now very real.

Luckily, my doctor ordered a lower dose. At 2:30PM the anesthesiologist came in to administer more drugs to the machine. When she returned 15 minutes later, she asked on a scale of 1-10 how good I felt. I was at a 10. I now felt that with no pain I felt I would be able to concentrate more on the job at hand.

Like on the TV shows, an intern came in to ask permission if he could assist in the delivery. I am not one to stop someone from learning so I agreed. I am normally a shy person but when you are pregnant all that has to go out the door. And as he walked around, he asked a very good question. Is there anyway for them to know when the epidural will run out. Hmmm.

My sister tried her best to leave with an excuse in hand. But, one "your not leaving me here by myself" from Papa and she was going nowhere.

At 3:15PM, the doctor walked into the room. She asked if we had a camera. As the camera was being pulled out, my doctor was giving directions on where to stand to take the PG rated pictures. I was surprised because that was the first I had heard someone say it was allowed. You were born at 3:25PM. I can not explain the emotion that washed over me. I could not control the happiness and the tears that flowed from my eyes. I felt like I had done this before. This happiness felt so familiar. I was having my deja vu moment. The same feelings I was having after your birth were so much also a happy memory of giving birth to your brother. I only wish he would have been here with us to share this moment. I know he looked down on us and gave us all a thumbs up.


When stretched my arms out to hold you as soon as you were out. Your little fingers wrapped around mine and my heart burst. It sent a flood of tears to my eyes that flowed. You were really here. I was meeting our little girl. 


They let Papa cut the cord and then they put you in my arms. I didn't want to let go. You were perfect in our eyes even your cry was so cute. 

So here are some pictures.

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Hayden's Happily Ever After

Hello everyone. I am here to share someone very special to me. Meet Hayden.

She was born on Monday, February 7, 2011 at 3:25 PM. My pregnancy with her was mostly uneventful which was a true blessing.

She is the youngest of our family. She has an older brother, Lukas. God called him back home after having spent twenty three beautiful days with us. I am blessed to have met him but I really wish that she got to meet him too. But, it is a twisted reality that had he lived, she may not be here.

I am writing this blog in order to chronicle and share the beauty of her life. I am so excited for the years to come. I look forward to seeing her discover this world. I look forward to seeing her bond with her papa as she becomes daddy's girl. I look forward to moments like her seeing her face light up when she sees her papa. It makes my heart flutter with joy. And in turn, seeing him melt like puddy when she smiles has been a moment amongst the many that I will always treasure.

I hope you enjoy the journey with me.